Getting your consent matters to me during your photo session. Here's why.

You know what really matters to me? That you feel comfortable and that you feel included and that you feel welcome and you feel respected. And so that's something that I like, really think about at every session. And I've spent a long time trying to train myself to slow down a little bit during photo shoots so that I can enact certain things in the way that we work together that make you feel that welcome and conclusion, that really matters to me.

I tend to move very fast at photo sessions, and I don't know that I'm physically moving fast, but my brain is like Roadrunner, just running a million miles an hour. Because the way photography works for me is I see an image I want to create in my mind. So then I put you into the poses and the place and the locations that are going to help me create that image.

And then I'm shooting. And as I'm shooting, I'm already thinking about the next step we want to go into. And I'm doing this all at the same time. So my brain is like running a million miles an hour. And in the middle of that, I'm having small talk because I love chit chatting and I want you to feel very relaxed and welcome with me.

So while my brain is already thinking about how the lighting is going to hit those oak trees in five minutes and all the different standing poses we're going to do, we're going to chit chat about, did you happen to see the latest episode of that show that we're all watching?

So I recognize I run so fast and I need to slow down a little bit to make sure that I'm taking things into account that make you feel welcome and included here. One of the things that I work really hard to do at every single session, every single time, is I do not touch anybody without asking permission first.

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And that includes toddlers. I will come up to you, but before I put my hands in your hair, before I fix your shirt, before I move your shoulders to a different angle, I'm going to say, are you comfortable with me touching you? And I do need to work on it a little bit better because sometimes I'm in your face before I'm like, I'm like, is it okay if I touch you?

Cool. I do want to work on slowing down a little bit and, and bringing that up earlier occasionally. I'm really good. And I'll say at the beginning of the session, hey, I might just move you myself. Are you comfortable with that? You know, there are people that have said, please no, and I'M like, not a problem at all.

Thank you for telling me. I'm going to voice to you what I want you to do then instead of just jumping in and doing it myself. Something else that I work really hard to do is to be very general with my Terms of Endearment. Not everybody's family looks the same.

Not everybody uses the same name for their families. You can have any family, and every relationship in that family should be respected. And so it's not on me to dictate that you're grandma if you're not grandma to your grandkids. Right? A blended family is a good example. I will say, what does everybody call you?

Sometimes I try to cover that in the questionnaire ahead of time. Sometimes it comes up organically when we're exchanging emails. Sometimes I'm saying it at the time of the session. Hey, what does everybody call each other? Because if you're George and you're not dad to your kids, then I don't want to call you dad, because that can make some people feel like they're not being seen, like that relationship is not being respected.

And that is the last thing I want to do. I fully believe that everybody should be celebrated. And the point of the photos is to take that moment to celebrate your family and all the relationships that exist within that family dynamic. Not everybody is fitting in these boxes, nor should they, because how boring would that be?

My photos would be identical every single time, and I would hate that. But so making sure that you feel like I'm hearing you as best I can in the middle of the noise of my brain is really important to me. It's something that I do really strive to do.

I'll always say to grandparents, what do they call you? And you might say, mimi and Pop Up. And I'm gonna say, great. Can I call you Mimi and Pop Up? Sometimes the answer is something that I just cannot remember, and I'm gonna say, I'm so sorry. I'm gonna try really hard to remember that.

But I'm just never gonna remember that you're Bebop and your Bebopa. I'm. That's unfortunately, probably not gonna happen for me. So I'm just gonna call you John Mary. Is that cool? Okay, thanks. But I'm gonna say that to you because I want you to know that I also respect your ability to be like, no, don't call me Mary.

Please call me Ms. Smith. Whatever. You can identify yourself however you want. And I'm gonna respect that because I'm. I'm just the photographer who's here to capture you in your natural environment. Well, as natural as we can get. You probably don't hang out in parks with coordinating clothes on Tuesdays with your family very often.

But we're going to get it as relaxed and close to natural as possible. And that really matters to me. So those are just two things that I do to really, hopefully create a space that feels welcoming to everybody. And I want you to know that, like, you can dictate anything that you are and are not comfortable with.

It's a big deal to me that toddlers and small children hear me say, is it okay if I touch your body? I'm not going to pick a booger out of their nose. I might say, mom, is it okay if I get this booger out of their nose real quick?

Especially if they're younger? Because I'm in their face and mom's, you know, off on the corner. And so it's just easier for me to just be like, hey, I'm just going to wipe their nose real quick. Wipe. I'm just going to wash their shirt when I get home. It's not that big of a thing, but making sure that the baby hears me ask for consent before I touch them.

I'm a total stranger to them, but also that mom and dad know. I fully respect that I am a stranger coming into your space right now and that you are all comfortable with this. If I go to a newborn session, you should assume that at some point I'm going to touch the baby, but I'm also going to ask for permission before I do that.

Hey, is it okay if I pick the baby up? Hey, do you mind if I relocate the baby? I'm just gonna. I may shift you a little bit because it's okay that in your spaces you feel safe. That matters to me. Because, by the way, I want that safety, too.

When we're getting our photos taken, you know, please, please respect the dynamics of my family. If you're going to photograph my family and I'm going to give you the same in return. You know, it's just. To me, it just feels like, why wouldn't I? I want to capture you as you are.

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I want you to feel like you can be who you are. There's a lot of ways that I can do it. These are just two that I do every single time. And I find that most people are really grateful for that respect. And, you know, I'm always looking for other things I can do, too.

And if you have any ideas, please share them with me. I'm always open. I'm always looking for ways to create opportunities for conversation and for being relaxed, because that matters. That's all that matters to me, truly, is. I want you to be as relaxed as possible when we're together.

So I'm going to get your consent. We're going to talk about your relationships and the names you prefer to be called within the dynamics of your family. And in general, anything that you requested me, we can. We can do. Because for the 45 minutes we're together for your photos, I just want you to feel good.

Kayla Rochelle photographs primarily in Charleston, SC soaking up the beach at sunset and daytime in the parks as much as possible.

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