Compliments I Won’t Give at Your Photo Session (And Why That’s a Good Thing)

Compliments I Won’t Give at Your Photo Session (And Why That’s a Good Thing)

As a photographer, my job goes far beyond capturing beautiful images. I'm also holding space for you, your story, your relationships, and your comfort. That’s why I’m intentional about the words I use during sessions. Some compliments might sound kind or harmless at first, but can feel awkward or even harmful depending on someone’s experiences or family dynamics.

Here are a few things I won’t say during a session and why:

❌ “You look so much thinner in that pose!” Even if someone is actively working toward a fitness goal, focusing on body size can unintentionally highlight insecurities. Instead, I prefer compliments that center joy, confidence, and connection. You may hear me say, " this pose is so flattering for you!" but that's coming from my excitement over how much I know you're going to love your photos. I'm not talking about the size of your body because frankly I think you're body looks good at all angles!

❌ “You look so much better now than before.” It might feel like praise in the moment, but this can unintentionally pass judgment on someone’s past self. No one needs to feel like they were “less than” in order to be celebrated now. I think you look gorgeous in all versions of you, but I understand that sometimes it feels less like a compliment and more like a reminder of how you've grown and changed and maybe there is some sensitivity around those changes that I want to make sure I respect.

❌ “He looks just like you!” or “She has your eyes!” Families come in all shapes, makeups, and stories. Making assumptions about biology or resemblance especially in blended, adoptive, or non-traditional families can be hurtful or alienating. My approach is to celebrate your connection, not compare appearances.

❌ “This pose really hides your tummy/arms/etc.” Comments like this reinforce the idea that certain parts of your body need to be minimized. I’ll always guide you into natural, flattering positions but never at the expense of body confidence.

Instead, I’ll say things like: 

✔ “You’re glowing, this light is magic on you.” 

✔ “I love how you two connect, it’s so natural.” 

✔ “You’re radiating so much joy right now.” 

✔ “That moment was pure magic, just be yourself, it’s working.” 

✔ “Your confidence really shines through here.”

Ultimately, I want every person who steps in front of my lens to feel respected, safe, and seen. Whether I’m photographing you, your partner, your children, or your team my language will always be rooted in celebration and care.

Not ready to stop talking about this topic? Me either! In fact I just went on a recent rant about all of the ways I'm going to help you overcome your insecurities during our photo session in this video here.

And to fellow photographers: let’s keep growing together. Compliments can uplift or unsettle depending on how they’re framed. Let’s make space for inclusive, affirming, and thoughtful language, because the vibe we create during a session matters just as much as the photos themselves.

Kayla Rochelle photographs primarily in Charleston, SC soaking up the beach at sunset and daytime in the parks as much as possible.

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